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Book A Reading With Robert

Spears Goes Ka-Ballistic

Britney Zohar

Britney Spears has rapidly morphed into a trainwreck that is taking on mythic proportions of southern discomfort. While she plays the freaky fey with a constantly roving gang of paparazzi hot on her heels, Spears can often be seen with a copy of the Zohar clutched close to her breast. Spears icon/mentor, Madonna initiated her into the Zohar, a massive tome that is the textual backbone of the Kaballah, which is rapidly being franchised into the next great spiritual epistle. But while Madonna is shrewd, calculating and self-serving, using the Kaballah and her rabinnical connections to keep stoking her star-making-machinery, Spears is a wild card, a cracker jackie who could let a couple of alien ideas take her deeper into the space of uncharted unpredictability.

Madonna (Leo) loves the status and attention that the Kaballah and all things related brings to her. Spears (Sag) is stumbling ever so publicly towards some faint vision of truth and who knows how that will turn out. She doesn’t appear to be filled with the holy fire of the dispensationalist breed of Southern Baptist that John Hagee champions, and that’s where it gets downright frightening. Launching the dualistic matrix of the Zohar into the Britney Spears program may either blow her circuitry into the Anna Nicole zone, or Spears may emerge from the post-partum-party fueled by the ordinances of the Elohim as a Persephone with a very public pulpit.

All I have to say to the rabinnical elders coaching Spears from beyond the flash of the press is be careful, your next transformation of a white goddess might mutate into something far less controllable than you had bargained for.

Readers Comments (2)

  1. “the dispensationalist breed of Southern Baptist…”
    “post-partum-party fueled by the ordinances of the Elohim…”
    “Persephine with a…public pulpit.”

    Damn! That’s good stuff. Always a great pleasure to read you, Sir Phoenix.
    Keep it up!

    –C

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