I ran into an old, very wise friend last week, my rat buddy, Bodhi. Bodhi spends about three-hours-a-day in deep meditation. I had just come from a NMT session to treat a hellacious, upper respiratory nightmare. NMT is a fascinating healing modality that grew out of another method called, “Bioset.” Its close to vibrational or energetic medicine. Essentially, the NMT practitioner uses a combination of radionics and muscle testing to quickly determine the energetic causes of a particular condition. What they discover are these things they call “pathways.” They then go about re-setting and clearing the pathways. My practitioner also uses acupuncture and “The Beamer” a small pad that resembles a heating pad, but instead of emitting heat, it stimulates healing in specific areas. Its big in Europe, getting bigger here.
Anyway, one of the pathways that showed up for me, was “grief.” I was told to read a series of keywords while being cleared. It was powerful. I could see my life over the past two years evoked in the words. A sense of mourning and loss; the death of my father, the end of my marriage, the news that my son would have a step-father.
For years, I simply buried feelings by layering experiences on top of them, convincing myself that they were important, valid and essential to my ongoing actualization. But when I stopped drinking in July, something started cracking. The dam wall of denial was giving way. After I read those words, it broke, halfway between my practitioners office and Whole Foods.
I got it together, went into Whole Foods and that’s where I ran into Bodhi. I’ve known him since 1996. I remember him though from 1988 when I went to a channeling at Bel Marin Keys.
Back in 1996, we were working on something that had to do with raves in England, altered states, you get my drift. It didn’t pan out (Thank God) but I had one of the most powerful and synchronistic experiences with him of all time.
We were waiting around in my van for “the man” as in the Lou Reed sang, “Waiting For My Man.” We were parked behind the mega-health food store, Rainbow Market and Bodhi was asking me about Mercury Retrograde. It was MR in Gemini at that time. He wanted to know how it could manifest. I began to pontificate about travel, especially local travel, people getting frustrated, hurried, distracted, getting into accidents, etc. And right on cue, we witnessed a small, japanese car, take on a bread truck trying to load into Rainbow. Cue screeching tires, cure burning rubber smell, cue smashing glass, cue slamming of metal; Action!!! I turned, looked at Bodhi and said, “Just like that.”
Lesson over, we started the van and left.
I have always had this potently synched up connection with him. Our orbits are infrequent, but when they cross, something snaps, crackles and pops. We talked for a little bit and very quickly got into the male/female dynamic. He immediately zeroed in on the target; Men’s biggest issue is grief. For women, its anger. We then kicked around how long women in general will be angry and whether its an energy that they have overused and overplayed. Anger, like anything can be addictive. I wondered about how at some point, whether anger has become institutionalized for women and morphed into a right, a badge of honor to be whipped out and up. Scan any contemporary ad and you’ll see the modern woman sticking it to their bumbling and clueless mate. Madison Avenue can feel your wrath. Oh yes they can.
I began to think about this in the context of awakening. I circled around the invisible barbed wire fences of separation. I looked at the social structures of divide and conquer, the fragmentation of nearly every aspect of our interrelated web of life on the plane of the 3rd dimension and how easily we are led around by our noses due to the reenactment of socialized trauma, again and again and again, like a hellish loop tape; “Samsara Gone Wild!” How could we ever break through this highly manipulated and insidious matrix of control? I kept returning to the male/female dynamic and how wounded, ragged and weary it is. I saw how this very basic configuration (yet subtly dynamic and complex) is the gateway to our mystery and a deeply integrative node that we must repair if we as a culture are to be free and unassailable to the signals of distress, disease and disassociation beamed into our hearts and minds from the moment we breath.
The synthetic solution appears to be the manipulated unisex, transgenic, transgendered, transhuman. Can you say, “Singularity?” But its almost too easy. Its the alchemical marriage taking place down at Dr. Frankenstein’s cottage on the lake. Its like there is a simultaneous signal of throwing in the towel, that this “old” thing just isn’t working anymore and a truly aggressive, even angry, bordering on nihilistic urge to destroy all familiar touch points in our hearts and souls. Last week, I was on Twitter and I saw a young woman, a very popular young woman I might add, throw down the following tweet; “Love is for whores.” We have now entered the Orwellian realm of emoting.
Mars is in Virgo (retrograde). Venus in Pisces. Here we have an opposition that can provide us with some real fuel to explore, transform and heal this deeply distorted and bloody gap between the sexes. Mars in Virgo plays the role of the male principle here, even though Virgo is female/Earth. Venus in Pisces is pure feminine–an ocean of compassion and forgiveness. Mars in Virgo retro invites introspection, going back, going within, going to places that hurt. Men have a unique opportunity to explore their grief during this cycle. Where were you betrayed? Left behind? What did you give up in order to be loved, then allowed to have sex and thus feel accepted? How did you morph, mutate and twist into some knotted up creature that doesn’t even resemble who you are in your soul, just to become relevant on a planet run by psychopaths?
I feel like I am, after 50 years, really just understanding and unraveling my relationship with women thanks to Saturn on my Venus in Libra. Its dovetailed with my time spent with my mother, in the aftermath of my fathers death. Its been a very sobering experience to say the least, coming to a very clear understanding that I am not the type of progeny she would have dialed up from a Sears catalog. But its been incredibly meaningful as well.
With Venus in Pisces, women have a unique opportunity to forgive, especially as it opposes demanding and borderline anal Mars in Virgo. We’re in a time where no healing act should ever be deemed insignificant. Don’t underestimate your ability to impact the big picture by really resolving and cleansing your own heart.
We stand at the apex of history, where monolithic social forces seek to rip, uproot and crumble our tenuous connections with each other, nature and spirit. The most basic and fundamental strategy to defend against such tyranny is to mend the most basic, important and profound relationship we have; between man and woman. Grieve and forgive.