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Archive for the “Chris Cohan” Category

larry_cohanWatch out for that mustard Larry.

Okay, I just can’t seem to let go of the NBA at this point, especially now that BP has allegedly capped the well (more about that later). Today, Christopher Cohan, Capricorn (1/2/50) sold The Golden State Warriors, my local pro hoops team. Like any good Capricorn, Cohan wrestled the team from Jim Fitzgerald and Dan Finane, owners of The Warriors from the mid-eighties to the mid-nineties. Cohan was a minority owner and he decided to force Finane and Fitzgerald to sell by threatening to sue them. This tactic was something that Cohan would become proficient at over the years. It represents the shadow of his Jupiter in Libra, profiting off of litigation.

So Cohan staged his own little hostile takeover, but he did it when Mercury was retrograde. I don’t have the exact date, but I clearly remember when it was announced that the was taking control of The Warriors. I was listening to my radio and getting ready to pump some gas at the Union 76 on Lincoln. When I heard it, I knew he was screwed based on MR. Lo and behold, all these years later, almost everything that could go wrong with the team has. I won’t list the hit parade, but for hoops fans, I’ll toss out four names and you can draw your own conclusions; Chris Webber, Latrell Sprewell, Todd Fuller and Gilbert Arenas. Enough said.

In 2000, when The Warriors were hosting the All Star game, fed up fans booed Cohan. By most accounts, it was the last time he was seen at Oracle Arena. It has been a chilly detente ever since. It seems as though after today’s events, Chris Cohan has not forgotten that moment and used his Capricornian wiles to not only screw the fans of Bay Area basketball one last time, but also stick to computing baron, Larry Ellison, who was in the running for purchasing The Warriors.

Ellison, Leo (8/17/44) is a man known for not losing. He recently spent a fortune to those with lesser wallets to insure that he would win The Amerca’s Cup and he did. Once everyone got wind that Ellison was in the race for The Warriors, it was a fait acompli that the third richest man in America would not suffer defeat and take over the stumbling franchise. Ellison was every fans fantasy. Let me repeat that. EVERY FAN’S FANTASY. Denizens of message boards were foaming at the mouth. They couldn’t wait until Ellison squashed Cohan like a bug, cleaned house and ran the team like Mark Cuban or Paul Allen or Jerry Buss. Look out Lakers and Mavs, here comes Uncle Larry and The Warriors! Something funny happened on the way to the fantasy. Ellison lost. Larry Ellison rarely loses. Read the rest of this entry »

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