Spears Goes Ka-Ballistic

Britney Zohar

Britney Spears has rapidly morphed into a trainwreck that is taking on mythic proportions of southern discomfort. While she plays the freaky fey with a constantly roving gang of paparazzi hot on her heels, Spears can often be seen with a copy of the Zohar clutched close to her breast. Spears icon/mentor, Madonna initiated her into the Zohar, a massive tome that is the textual backbone of the Kaballah, which is rapidly being franchised into the next great spiritual epistle. But while Madonna is shrewd, calculating and self-serving, using the Kaballah and her rabinnical connections to keep stoking her star-making-machinery, Spears is a wild card, a cracker jackie who could let a couple of alien ideas take her deeper into the space of uncharted unpredictability.

Madonna (Leo) loves the status and attention that the Kaballah and all things related brings to her. Spears (Sag) is stumbling ever so publicly towards some faint vision of truth and who knows how that will turn out. She doesn’t appear to be filled with the holy fire of the dispensationalist breed of Southern Baptist that John Hagee champions, and that’s where it gets downright frightening. Launching the dualistic matrix of the Zohar into the Britney Spears program may either blow her circuitry into the Anna Nicole zone, or Spears may emerge from the post-partum-party fueled by the ordinances of the Elohim as a Persephone with a very public pulpit.

All I have to say to the rabinnical elders coaching Spears from beyond the flash of the press is be careful, your next transformation of a white goddess might mutate into something far less controllable than you had bargained for.

Boo Movie

Barry B Benson

If a movie portrayed bees getting gassed in a hive like it was a concentration camp, a famous black comedian represented as a bloodsucking insect, Winnie The Pooh getting hit with a tranquilizing dart, and the Caucasian race getting blamed for the exploitatation of bees for the production of honey, would you take your kid to go see it? I did and boy, did I feel stung when I left the theater after watching Bee Movie.

After seeing Dreamwork’s newest animated feature starring the voice of Jerry Seinfeld as the cute little litigious bee, Barry B. Benson my thoughts were unsettled to say the least. The plot steals a little from The Graduate as Benson decides not to conform to his pre-destined role as a worker bee. He defies the order of the hive and takes time out to not be ok with his lot as a bee. In fact there is a scene that’s directly lifted from The Graduate where he is laying on a floating chaise lounge on a pool of honey just like Hoffman’s character (Benjamin Braddock) in The Graduate doing a similar act in a pool, getting harangued by his parents about making a choice, all of which came after Barry had left the hive to experience the delights of the outside world, including the perky and protective Vanessa, which features the voice of Renee Zellwegger.

Barry falls head-over-stinger for her and takes up residence at her New York apartment. Encouraged by her, Barry decides to take on the human race and sue them for their enforced servitude of bees (sue bee–get it!!! ha ha–funny). Barry talks by the way and not only does he talk, he plays a mean civil litigator, shredding the human appointed attorney–a fat-assed and decidedly unlikable southerner (voice provided by John Goodman). Barry is victorioous and bees are no longer forced to produce honey. in fact, all available honey is returned to them as some form of reparation. The bees have it good now, but the humans are screwed. We need the bees and what they do for us and now look to them to save us.

What treacle.

The film is mean spirited and injects memes that are dark and innapropriate for young children. I hope the buzz on this film fades before more drones lap up this sticky mess.

As a parent I do not recommend this film.

L’Orchestra Piazza di’Vittorio

GOING GLOBAL NEVER SOUNDED SO GOOD
I recently attended a special screening for a film based on the, “L’Orchestra Piazza d’Vittorio.” The film is an outgrowth of a much larger project that when viewed from a detached perspective is nothing short of a modern miracle.

The backstory takes place in in a neighborhood in Rome called the “Piazza District.” It was once home to middle-class-Romans, but now houses the largest ethinc community in Rome. Tunisians, Chinese, East-Indians, Eastern-Europeans, South Americans and Africans all migrated there due to the cheap rents caused by the exodus of wealthier Italians and the decline of he neighborhood to the common vices of drugs, prostitution etc. Yet there were still enough native residents that they were uncomfortable with the diversity that they saw as destroying their beloved Italian culture. There were protests and calls for the interlopers to leave. While some of the Piazza dwellers were decrying the end of homgeniety, a small group of courageous artists saw the crisis as an opportunity to bring the district together.

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